No she didn't!

Foreword

The phrase "No she didn't" or " oh! no she didn't" is primarily used by souled out black people. Sometimes it is a response that is similar to: "what the heck!", " Are you kidding me?!" when one hears something that is just outrageous//unbelievable//shocking//scandalous// so on and so forth. This response typically comes from a black woman in the middle of hearing a piece of juicy news from her friend. It can go something like this:

GIRL A. Love, yesterday me and Mr. Significant went to dinner for our 3rd year anniversary. It was a really nice little spot. Quiet, romantic and it made BIG CITIES top 10 places to take your date. But, honey let me tell you the service was bad with a capital SH.IT.

GIRL B. Really! tell me all about it.

GIRL A. I ordered the scrumptious, and he wanted the delicious. We also asked for a bottle of the expensive. But instead she brought out 2 plates of the fugly. When we informed her about it, she yanked the plates off the table and headed back to the kitchen calling us food snobs underneath her breath. Me and Mr. Significant kept quiet. You know how people can spit in your food. We didn't want annnny trouble.

GIRL B. Right, right! You have to be careful these days. Chefs don't like you to send back their food.

GIRL A. True, but this was our date night and it was his money. I mean come on. So anyway, 2 years later she FINALLY brings out our food but then nothing to wash it down with. I mean where was the bottle of the expensive? It wasn't there. So I chimed in and asked her to bring the bottle of the expensive, sans the smartalic comments. She goes back, gets the bottle and places it on our table. I look at Mr. Significant because there aren't any glasses. So instead of sending her back AGAIN to bring us two glasses, we just ate our food and called it a date. After judging the service we both decided that a tip was not deserved. Sorry but I just don't tip bad attitudes and incomplete orders.

GIRL A. Right right! 

GIRL B. So as we are getting up from the table, Mr. Significant takes the tab and hands it to her, payment in full. And don't you know,  as we were walking out the door, she yelled at us " WHERE IS MY TIP!!?" 

GIRL A. oh no she didn't! 
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So that's how it normally goes. I always find that when people who aren't black say OH KNOW SHE DIDN'T, or GO GIRL, or HOLLA it never sounds right and I don't acknowledge it. Unless you've been souled out by stamp and approval, it just goes in one ear and out the other for me. I just pretend they didn't say it and we carry on with our conversation.

Speaking of which,

I was on the marshutka the other day heading into the BIG CITY aka Baku. It's hot and I'm bothered. A lady sitting in the same seat as me is starring. Nothing new. I'm use to it. I pull out a book and dig in. Then she taps on me on my shoulder and says " AZERBAIJANSAN?"

Now when I first heard her, I thought perhaps I just caught the back end of a full sentence. For I know this woman did not just ask me if I was Azerbaijani. So I shook my head and replied in the negative " I don't understand."
I thought about it the entire hour ride there. Did this lady just ask me, with a serious face, and serious inquisitiveness whether I was Azerbaijani?

There are a few volunteers here that can pull that off. Ya know...they can pull off blending in very well. If I could draw up an image of the typical Azerbaijani person, they are likely fair skinned with dark hair and dark eyes. Some have darker skin (think people from Iran or Afghanistan) and some people are white with *get this* red hair and light eyes. There are even some who, when a person hears the word Caucasian, this is the person they think of: blonde hair, white skin, and blue eyes. For the record, all Azerbaijanis, if you dig far past their Turkish backgrounds, are essentially Caucasian. It's evident, obviously before the Turkish came in, their Caucasian'ness' is spit out from time to time when you see that random sandy blonde haired child with those big blue eyes. Of course that same child could just be Russian, but we are splitting hairs here. I digress.

My point is, I have not seen anyone that looks like me. I have seen people with  my skin tone, although even that is pushing it. I have seen people with my hair type, although that is kinda pushing it as well, but I have not seen an Azerbaijani that looks like me.

There are volunteers who quietly get by-passing-if you will. If they simply changed their style of dress and kept their mouth closed, they would easily be Azerbaijani. Sometimes (confession) I have to admit that I feel that's a fairly decent quality to have. To just fit right in without trying too hard (I now defer you to my foreword about how somethings just aren't natural) could be a blessing in disquise. Depends on the personality. I capitalize on my being 'different' but there are some days I wish I could just disappear and go unnoticed. So when she asked me if I was Azerbaijani, unless I am mistaken by what she said, I thought WOW, REALLY?! YOU MEAN..YOU THINK...I COULD ACTUALLY BE LIKE YOU? AND NOT SO DIFFERENT?

I shook the thought out of my head as fast as it came, "nah! No she didn't." 

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