Q & A with American Visitor: Thomas S.

Myself and Thomas recently came back from Tbilisi Georgia. A really nice trip and weekend getaway for myself mentally. It felt good just to 'be' versus walking on eggshells in my current life. It was also difficult for me to come back to Azerbaijan after such an experience that was filled with overindulgence. Someone should have warned me to pace myself because when you're high-YOU'RE HIGH and you only know what comes after that.

Q & A with an American Visitor: Thomas S.

Q.  How do you like Azerbaijan?

A. Now that I've been to another country in addition to Azerbaijan, I wouldn't say it's the best out of the places I've visited thus far. I don't think I will visit again. There are nice parts of the country, for instance some of the buildings and sites of Baku, the squares, Ganja, I think those things are nice coming in as a tourist but the people aren't warm.  It's the people that make the country and this country feels cold.

Q. This is your first time out of America right?

A. Yeah

Q. Has your experience with Azerbaijan ruined your thoughts about traveling outside of the States?

A. No, not at all. I knew it would be different. I didn't have any expectations in coming here. I knew there would be times I would be uncomfortable due to language barriers and such, and I experienced all of that. I would honestly say that it has prepared me for my next trip out of the country. I know one place may not be like another. Azerbaijan is Azerbaijan. We went to Georgia and it was completely different.

Q. Let's say we didn't go to Georgia and you weren't doing comparisons, would you still feel the same about Azerbaijan if you had nothing to compare it to?

 A. Yes. I don't dislike Azerbaijan. Don't get me wrong. I still think it was a great experience going out of the country, but with Azerbaijan being my first time out of the country and my first country, first impressions are lasting.

Q. What do you like?

A. I like the pride that the people have in their country. I even like the direction that they are trying to go in. You can see the construction happening in the city and that's evidence that the country is heading somewhere. The thing I really disliked are that the people weren't welcoming. You could tell that they weren't use to seeing us or foreigners and I understand that but the reaction to it never made sense to me.

Q. What about my host family...weren't they welcoming?

A. I really enjoyed meeting your host family, some of the people I met at the bazaar and some of the shops we went to, and a few other people just from walking the streets and exploring the country. But for every one of those people there were 2 or 3 that overshadowed that kindness that  those former people put out. 

Q. This may be a difficult question to ask, but what do you think about Peace Corps role here in Azerbaijan?

A. I understand what Peace Corps is trying to do in this country but I'm not sure that the country and the people understand that or want Peace Corps in their country.

Q. What do you think the country understands about Peace Corps?

A. I think they see you all as teachers who mainly teach English. I think Azerbaijan enjoys that aspect of it,but I'm not sure if they give it any more thought beyond that. I think as a few volunteer per community, sometimes it's hard to collectively put out the Peace Corps mission.

Q. Why?

A. Because it doesn't seem that there is enough representation. Sometimes what you are up against is overbearing. 

Q. How do you think you would be as a Peace Corps volunteer here in Azerbaijan?

A. Well, it's very easy to feel uncomfortable here. There is no real fitting in. Even though some of the people are warm and welcoming, but once you get outside, the reaction you receive makes it hard for you to be yourself and adapt to your community. I think being here for 2 years, I wouldn't be able to function in discomfort. Walking down the street and being a stranger every day as if every day I'm a new person. I'm not sure if this would work, but I would try to talk to as many people as I could just to make them more familiar with me. Make them more familiar with Peace Corps and maybe it wouldn't be as uncomfortable. Maybe there wouldn't be so much 'wow' reaction when I walked down the street.

Q. But you know that as a woman I can't really do that. I try to make relationships with mostly women, because the interaction between genders is a bit fuzzy for me and I haven't seen an opportunity for me to build those same relationships with men.So I can't just walk down the street and speak to everyone.If you were a woman, how would you be as a Peace Corps Volunteer.I know I'm asking you to think as a woman too, so this may be a difficult question-but try.

A. As a woman you are viewed differently. So no you can't just walk down the street and approach everyone. I think Peace Corps does set up some survival tools for you guys to integrate into your community a little better. I think that the more children that you reach through your conversation clubs and your activities at your school, the more guesting that you do with these families or women, I think that would spread and you'd get a different reaction when they hear and see what you're doing. It doesn't have to be direct communication, but I think the more work you do, your community will recognize you in a different light. Not saying that it would be perfect, but as a woman it's really the only option that you have.

Q. Remember when I was crying on the way back from Tbilisi. Do you think I was overreacting?

A. No I don't think you were overreacting. We had a good time in Tbilisi. The people of Georgia received us a little bit warmer than the people of Azerbaijan. So it was easy to get comfortable for that short amount of time that you were there. We were in Georgia for 3-4 days and you were more comfortable there in those 3-4 days than you were here in however many months. So the thought of you coming back to this discomfort provoked that reaction and I understand that.

Q.  I know you didn't get to come to any of my conversation clubs, but what impact do you think I am making in my community?

A. I'm not really sure, because I didn't get to go to any of your clubs. I know from going to the bazaar, the post office, and a couple of stores, I think those people have become more open to seeing someone different in this community. Some of the people that I've seen you teach English to, like your host father, I can see how their language has improved but I can't see directly the impact that you have on those students which seems to be the most quantifiable.

Q. What is your most memorable moment in Azerbaijan?

A.  I think it's a combination of several moments but they all have one thing in common. I would say that in meeting those warm people who at that time changed my mind of how Azeris as a whole act. Meeting your host family, the people at the bazaar, etc, during those moments, I felt like if everyone reacted to us in that way, I think this place would be better. Those moments were the most enjoyable because that's what I wanted to see more of. 

Q. Funniest moment in Azerbaijan?

A. Being called Barack Obama was classic. Hearing Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog blasted from a lada. Seeing the kid in the Wiz Kalifah t-shirt express excitement when he ran into us. Definitely hearing all of the stories from other PCV's. 

Q. Hardest moment in Azerbaijan?

A. Not knowing how to respond to excessive staring and laughing. Knowing something is being said that is negative or disrespectful and not being able to respond to it.

Q. Can you tell me 3 things you want to take back to America about Azerbaijan? If someone said-Tell me about Azerbaijan and give me 3 things-what would you say?

A. I would say expect to see people have great pride in their country. Secondly family is important. You can see that family is first and work life is second. Just the simple act of sitting down and eating together as a family is huge. And three??? As much as we laugh and joke about Azerbaijani's dress to go God knows where, I think their style of dress is clean. Their cars are up to date and their architecture is ahead of their time. However the mindset doesn't seem to reflect what's happening on the outside.

Q. What do you want to tell Azerbaijanis about America?

A. Don't believe everything that you see on television, music, or sports. I don't know what the perception that Azerbaijanis have about Americans. The only viewpoints that I heard, I know they got those viewpoints from entertainment. For example, our women are loose and that black people cause trouble.

Q. In America we see art as an expression of what's really happening in life. Do you think much of what's in entrainment is a long shot from what's actually happening in American life?

A. No it's not a longshot. Art imitates life of course, but what people see is a small piece of the story. People don't see the back story or the other side. The basics are omitted and the view is myopic.

Q. Do you think you got the back story of Azerbaijan, or do you think you have a myopic view.

A. No, I don't think I got the back story. That's what makes it hard for me to make a solid opinion on the country after only a couple of weeks. I know there is much more to Azerbaijan that I haven't seen or experienced. I think that if I stayed here longer and experienced more, my viewpoint would change. Just from hearing rap music, that lets me know there is a different part of Azerbaijan that I haven't seen. Going to Gence and meeting those kids who act just like regular teenagers. To hear about them doing open mic, which I wasn't privileged  to, let me know that there is more to this place and these people. But everyone hasn't reached that potential. I've only seeing behavior in response to "tunnel vision" thinking and in this short amount of time, it's hard for me grasp the back story.

Q. What's something you want Peace Corps Volunteers to learn and what's something you want Azerbaijanis to learn since you're not really apart of either and can be more objective?

A. I don't feel like I can rightfully say what I want Peace Corps volunteers to learn. I feel like after seeing what you guys do and go through, I commend Peace Corps Volunteers everywhere. It's not easy to do this every day in addition to being so far away from home and the luxuries that America affords you. To come somewhere totally different and have to adapt without anyone holding your hand, makes me feel like that in and of itself is the greatest learning experience of your life. I have a whole new respect for Peace Corps volunteers.

Q. What about Azerbaijani's. Anything you want them to learn or get from this experience with Peace Corps

A. Just be open to it. I recognize that this is their country and you all are visitors here. So you can't enforce your own way of thinking-especially as guests in their country. I don't think that's what Peace Corps intends to do, but I would advise Azerbaijanis to just be open to other cultures and not be defensive. I think that's what makes America nice because our diversity forces us to accept and tolerate differences. 

Q. It's going to be really hard to see you leave. I haven't been so comfortable in all my time here until you got here. It was nice to be around someone who got me and understood me. I thank you greatly for supporting me in this life transformation experience. It's going to be really hard to see you leave because you're my go to place in my mind for what's normal. 

A. It's going to be really hard for me to leave. I try not to think about it since i've been here, but since today being the day before I have to go, it's starting to sink in. I hate to leave you here uncomfortable. I'd much rather you go home and I stay. I honestly mean that. I know this has always been your dream and despite all the negatives and the discomfort for both of us, I'm still proud to see you doing this.I know you're strong enough to finish.

Q. Really! you think I'm strong enough to finish? How many times do I ask you if I can do this?

A. If I had a dollar for every time, I could probably buy a car. But at those moments I don't think you're going to quit, I just think you need someone to tell you that you can finish because you're second guessing yourself and you want to hear someone tell you something positive. But yes, I know you can finish this. I have full confidence and haven't doubted it 1 day-even after seeing how hard it is.

Q. Do you promise to send me more coffee and gummie bears and hair color?

A. I can promise on the coffee and hair color. The gummie bears I'll have to think about. I'm studying nutrition and I can't keep sending sugar in the mail. It just doesn't look good.

Q.Do you have any last words?

A. Yeah, You can do this. Once you're done, you're done. From that point on you can do whatever else you want to do.

Thank you Thomas for coming to visit me. For losing your luggage, for reapplying for your visa, for taking a bucket bath and asking if you actually stand inside the bucket, for filtering and boiling water, for holding my hand in my community, for learning to say sagol and cox sagol, for traveling to Gence, for hanging your underwear on the line, for going without a haircut and a decent shave, for bringing back Carrie's computer, for treating me to Tbilisi,for missing a couple of baths, and missing the playoffs.
 

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