I had lost my phone twice. The first time I lost my pone, I was getting off a bus and saw a small puppy that appeared to be caught in a bar. Being the super-shero that I am, I thought it was a bright idea to rescue it. Somewhere between exiting the bus and the puppy, my phone disappeared. The second time I lost my phone, I was headed to the Beloved Burgerland to use their Beloved Free wifi & eat their Beloved French Fries. Upon getting off the bus, I checked my pockets for my phone and it was gone. So was the bus for that matter. I stood on the side of the street contemplating how in the world I could lose my phone once again! Shaking my head in utter frustration I just started to cry. In between catching my breath I was suddenly surrounded by concerned older men who were turning and twisting their heads trying to figure out what happened to me. I babbled broken Azerbaijani explaining that I had lost my telephone using the words/phrases: TELEFONE AVTOBUSLA(the phone is with the bus), BILMIREM YENNI (I don’t know the number because it’s new), TELEFONE DOVLET( this is a government phone and I really need it), BILMIREM, BILMIREM (I’m crying because I can’t explain myself in your language and it’s really a shame because I’ve been here for 3 months but can’t put together a coherent sentence). I’m huffing and puffing and blowing houses down and these super kind men tell me that it will be okay-they will get the police. THE POLICE??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE DON’T CALL THE POLICE (I heard the word police and protested). Well I’m drawing a crowd now: COME ONE, COME ALL! Step right up! Step right up!-Brown girl crying a river. She’s rambling and stuttering. It’ll only cost you 25 cents to see her! If it’s one thing Azerbaijani’s don’t like to see its people overly expressing their emotions. Drives them wild. Everything must be done with grace and discretion in public. Again I wasn’t solely crying because I lost my phone. I was also crying because I couldn’t explain myself. Nothing was coming together in my head. I was mixing up Spanish words for Azerbaijani words and English words with English words, ultimately drawing complete blanks.
No sooner after that, 2 university kids walked up and introduced themselves in English. They assisted me in catching the same bus and explained to the driver that I had lost my phone. That driver called another bus driver to ask him to search for my phone on his bus. The same 2 kids walked me home, because at this point it was getting late and no longer worth the trouble, and explained to my host mom what happened.
Now the Universe (please insert God here) was truly on my side. I mean there are several things that happen in Azerbaijan that would never happen in America. If you lose your phone in America-you’re out of luck homie. You just strut right over to your nearest phone store and toss over 883 more dollars; then another $25 a month for insurance and leave it on the nightstand. In Azerbaijan, if you lose your ANYTHING and 1 person knows about it, then please believe the news will travel faster than a speeding bullet. While I was looking for my phone, my phone was looking for me. My Guy had been calling my number and some man was answering. They couldn’t talk to each other let alone comprehend one another, but something about concern and urgency translated. That same man called a familiar and common Azerbaijani name in my phone to inform him that he was in possession of a phone that belonged to someone, just not sure who. That man that he called, was super important-so Super Important called my host mom to tell my host mom that my phone had been found and would be returned to me the next day. CHALLENGE: IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANY OTHER PLACE IN THE WORLD WHERE SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN-LET ME KNOW. IF NOT-TAKE A LOOK AT THIS PRETTY DEAD BIRD I SAW ON MY WALK HOME.
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