Let's Talk about Staging

Why does saying goodbye have to feel so bad? I wish we could switch our emotions around..or pick a feeling off a wheel of feelings when it comes to saying something we don't really want to say. I mean, all i want to do is spin a wheel and pick an inappropriate response like confetti dropping and whistles goes off whenever I have to say goodbye to someone. I hated say goodbye to my other half Kim and my favorite guy Thomas. I hated saying goodbye to my parents who were beyond sad (my fathers voice cracked-so this is how I know..and my mom had an ugly Oprah cry-so this is how I know).

Anyway-let's talk about staging. Staging in Peace Corps is a mashup between meeting fellow trainees, getting some logistics down, running through skits and scenarios, and honing in on some really important goals/mission of Peace Corps. I met the first fellow volunteer name Annie while in Atlanta. I was sitting on the floor, looking for my head when this tall blond kneels by me and says : ARE YOU GOING TO STAGING IN PHILADELPHIA? I was like..HEY..YEA! HOW DID YOU FIGURE I WAS JOINING THE PEACE CORPS? WAS IT MY KNOCKOFF GUCCI GLASSES??

Let's fast forward to staging. I did a quick model change into some business casual attire and ran to join the session. The room was filled with all sorts of people. Young (not much younger than say 23 or so) Old (we are talking about 50's, grandparents, retirement age) black (dreds and weave) Asian (one was born in a refugee camp) maybe or maybe not gay, half male/ half female, young married and old married, LA born and bred with striking red hair and well traveled east coasters. I got a chance to meet some of them in person, seeing as though I figured out who many of them were via facebook. It's funny the perceptions we have about people but let's just say most of them lived up to their pictures. Do I fit in? For the most part yes. I don't feel too old and I don't feel too young. I'm not too black and I'm not too 'hopped the fence' <~interpret that how you like.

We stayed in training for roughly 5 hours and then got some paint the town red money. Now my family and boyfriend came to staging (which is not the norm, but neither am I) so I spent my last precious singular hours with them. It was the best thing I could have done. While everyone was boarding a bus to shuttle over to JFK, I got hugs. While everyone was loading their luggage and remember eachothers names-i got hugs and awesome pictures. While everyone was had butterflies, sitting in their seats waiting on YOURS TRULY, i got powerful prayer.

I kissed all of them farewell and stamped the final vision of their faces onto my heart. The shuttle ride to jfk was nothing but trainees asking each other questions and mini chats. I participated in some and opted out of others. Listening first, responding later. JFK--WAS A DISORGANIZED JUMBLE OF LUGGAGE, MESS AND %$#$@q@$!

Now I'm sitting at JFK waiting to board a plane to Baku Azerbaijan. We have a layover in Turkey and it's feeling even more real than when i was sitting at the Hartsfield airport, even more real than when I was getting oriented in Philadelphia, even more real than when I got my passport...

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